myhips_yourlips

India

2008-01-17T20:52:28Z

It was beautiful, heart-breaking, and the trip has not sunk in as of yet.

attn all loved ones:

2007-11-10T20:10:26Z

When I go to you for comfort about a decision I made many months ago,
If you're a real friend, please stop saying, "Well, I told you so."

19th birthday!

2007-06-04T18:21:48Z

was friday. and look what my mommy gave me:

i wanna see this on Sonya.

it feels like christmas!

2007-05-20T19:01:21Z

packages from the philippines always mean hello kitty overdrive for natasha.

home?

2007-05-08T21:36:56Z

This doesn't feel like home, but I admit I've missed the smell of my own sheets. They don't smell like the ones I've taken with me.

that queasy nervous feeling in your stomach

2007-05-05T15:56:37Z

I got it when I was coming here
So why am I getting it when I'm leaving?

this is the last time i will say "housing" or "living" in a long time

2007-03-31T23:05:17Z

...because I'm tired of talking about it. Anything will grow on me as long as I live with Sonya.

Major cafe was exciting but confusing. I won $25 towards the service photo place. I have a graphic design concentration now...let's see how it goes.

Things are better now that I've seen the gross mourning veil. What is that? an insult to Islam or something?

cc

2007-03-30T04:19:12Z

whore whore whore fucking whore whore whore whore

I'm disgusted with you and what you've done to my head and...everything...

i just don't understand what you're trying to do,

whore,

?

myhips_yourlips @ 2007-03-04T12:52:00

2007-03-04T17:52:03Z

I just really love to type and ramble and type and have time with myself. And now, all my friends are gone for spring break and I am enjoying Baltimore and MICA instead of defending them all the time. Friday march 2nd was the most beautiful day in Baltimore, other than the nights when it snows giant quarter sized flakes. But I'm tired of snow. I guess I wanted to just write some shit down just to validate that I exist, knowing that no one worth a shit will ever read this. I’m not so into music anymore. I hate art school and what it does it me, it makes me think constantly but not have any time to think, it keeps me completely out of touch with the “real world,” and then makes me ask, “well, what’s actually real? Is anything real?” That’s disgusting. But I guess I’d rather be here than anywhere else, because otherwise I wouldn’t have 6 hour classes and people criticizing me continually, and a challenging environment that persistently asks me to better myself as a person and as an artist. Yet the “real world” doesn’t give me credit for having the creativity and energy and self-motivation to even survive here. I really don’t get enough credit, and I don’t mean the 15 I get from the school. But if I had no art school and no assignments and virtually nothing to do I would be doing pointless things like writing in a blog that no one reads.

oh how time flies !

2006-12-15T21:00:16Z

i just finished my first semester at mica. i feel old and tired and accomplished and full.

Leaving

2006-08-23T12:05:38Z

went to Atlanta College of Art (when it existed) summer 2004 for a Summer Teen Studio program in Drawing and Painting. My teacher was Darby "J--", and I had asked him about further education in art. He told me he was a Maryland Institute College of Art alumni and how excellent of a school it was. I was obsessed, but it was some far-off dream I knew was way too out of my reach.

Everything that I have worked so hard for, dreamed for since childhood, sent slides for, drove miles for, wrote letters for, and most of all, fought for, is being paid off in about 20 minutes when I pile even more crap into the car and drive 10 hours to Beloved Baltimore.

Marietta, thank you for all the challenges and hospitality you have presented me, I will never forget you.

And thanks to all my friends that have supported me over the months, some times years, I'm happy to tell you IT ALL FUCKING PAID OFF

puppieee

2006-08-11T18:58:36Z

I want it!
I wanna eat it!
IS SO CUTE.

ASS HEAD

2006-08-04T02:39:36Z

no posts for a while?

moving to baltimore in about three weeks. i'm excited about my roommates, the atmosphere, the city, but not really the work? that sounds lazy of me, i love to work, just i'm not as passionate in things like drawing and painting.

i went to miami for a couple weeks to visit my grandma- she had knee surgery , so it wasn't a vacation like my friends thought it would be.

i'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. so i hope there will be applesauce and hugs and big cheeks galore (cheeks- face not butt)

I am currently writing on my brand new pretty macbook that i already hate...My external hard drive isnt working so i can't move all my work and stuff over to this computer. So i dont really hate this..I'm just very frustrated. I think this thing is going to be my new best friend. sad.
(like how my ipod became my best friend, Henry)

last night i spent the night at keenan's and he told me about everything. And everything. Reminds me of the movie Lost in Translation. I didn't want to force him, i just want him to be okay.
To those who were wondering, i am okay. the doctor called yesterday and said I'm ok.
I'm just gonna miss that house, a lot. Callie, K's pillow-top mattress, the TV room, the cat hopping onto to bed in the middle of the morning (goddamnit you're always eating!!) , the fish, the paintings, and the way his pillows smell.

A fly just died on my keyboard. MY NEW KEYBOARD.

i got keenan the Seu Jorge Life Aquatic album. HYEA. he got me an action sampler camera. better than any jewelry (although I did see his eye on a locket) because i love cameras and lomography more than food AND STUFFED ANIMALS.

i have been scratching my skin a lot lately, guess I'm ready for baltimore!

pee es wish me luck for tomorrow yes?

update

2006-06-04T04:23:44Z

so,
so much has happened in the past two months.

blackalicious concert with keenan and matt.
miami to visit my g-parents, and saw sara from pre-college.
senior prom with elliot.
got a cool scholarship to mica and sent my final papers there.
paideia bash with keenan.
final art show.
my decades birthday/graduation party.
met keenan's grandparents.
senior banquet, senior picnic.
grandparents and aunt in town.
i graduated from high school.
my mother found my handle of vodka.
i had my last dance recital, which culminated my 12 years of dance.
i turned 18. i'm terrified of being an adult.
i went to the zoo.
i had sex on a baseball field (the outfield).
sr girls' weekend at allie's lakehouse.
i bought a wide-angle/macro/fisheye lens.

spring break broke

2006-04-11T02:49:42Z

my spring break sucked, (cuz i didn't get much done during the week and no incredible tan) but here's what happened last weekend in baltimore (which was amazing):

left for baltimore saturday morning. hotel was at inner harbor so i met up with jin and his girlfriend randi at afghan kabob. oh jin! i hadnt seen him in so long.

then i went to yuta's apartment close to the campus. wow i didn't realise how much i had missed stephen til i saw him. tarcs came too, like kate, but me and stephen kinda did our own thing. then after most everyone left, yuta, stephen, and i walked like 80 blocks to a couple parties. ran back to yuta's apartment at 3am in bmore (really bad idea) and blew bubbles out of a bunny and talked to stephen and yuta for hours.

sunday, MICA scholarship finalist program. i saw cassie's purty little faace and photo buddy kelly. i freaked THE FUCK OUT when i saw lizzy. ive missed her so so so much. all the memories came back when i saw the commons...aww. all those nights.. yeah. i saw jaime, my favourite hispanic. had lunch with the head of the photo dept jack wilgus pretty cool.

after the program thing i went to amy's house and she took me around towson. really pretty. ive missed amy a lot too, i hope she gets enough scholarship to live at mica.
that night i had dinner with kuresh at inner harbor.that night i actually got some sleep, first of the weekend. i have a good feeling i wont be sleeping much in baltimore.

during the week i really didn't do shit, i read a few books, got coffee, bought clothes, hung out with vanna, and at least i got my nose pierced. also yesterday was me and keenan's 9 months and that's a long time.

he finally cut his hair

uh i swear he loves me

today went to the atl dogwood festival and met with keenan and allie...went to the vv exhibit with my own and k's work...it's weird to see my work displayed, i mean i guess it was cool and an honor cuz not a lot were there at all but i just didnt like that piece very much. and i feel like shit about my work.

i felt awkward.

anyways, my parent's met keenan's parents went really well, and then i had to get keenan to spray sea salt on my peircing and he ended up spraying it in my face and people were staring and laughing. now i'm at home thinking holy shit there's school tomorrow (&i'll be the only one not orange with a bellybutton ring)

pictures

2006-04-01T04:10:17Z

(same post as xanga_)

missed mates of state tonight. aint that a bitch.

pictures from:

georgia aquarium

animal collective

plus videos

please don't kiss me like that if you're about to leave.

update

2006-03-21T04:54:04Z

I'm going to MICA.

wee

2006-01-27T03:30:22Z

take a good look at these motherfuckers cuz they both just got

into Maryland Institute College of Art

and hans wrote me a card, it was pretty awesome

wow what a great day

2006-01-24T03:33:07Z

i got the MICA precollege06 booklet...and damn did it make me sad. i saw everyone in there, including sweet closeups of elyza and sara, made me really miss everyone.

i got a postcard from SVA saying i'll get an admissions decision in like three weeks or so.

i got an e-mail from hans :

Hello again Natasha:

I just wanted to let you know that I have finished reviewing your Early Notification application materials and will be presenting you to the admission committee today.

Things look good, I enjoyed looking at your slides...some familiar from when we looked at your work after the Pre College program in July! But I REALLY like the more recent photo's..both digital and traditional. Clearly MICA was a turning point for you...or more like a 'coming together' of concepts etc...you refer to that in your essay quite evocatively!!? Very exciting!

You should be quite competitive for our merit scholarship based on
portfolio and academics. Forms for the various scholarship applications are being mailed out later this week and are due back in on March 15th. I have already nominated you for our academic honors scholarship.

When will I see you again???...will you attend the MICA Open House
perhaps!?

You will hear from us very soon!

greetings

Hans Evers
Director of Undergraduate Admission
Maryland Institute College of Art

and that ultimately made me really happy.

but that e-mail and looking at the MICA booklet made me really miss MICA and wanna go there again. but it's not a wonderful photoschool and it's not NYC. but maybe i'm not ready for newyork. but what will i do in baltimore, will i get a job after MICA? but i dont like the campus at SVA.

SO CONFUSED.
(but happy)

new glasses!

2006-01-23T02:01:38Z

pick one!

do yo dance on that ho.

2006-01-18T04:17:48Z

no update in a while...

i finished my applications to pratt, mica, and sva. in february i have to complete scholarship apps for mica and sva. i won't hear back from everyone till april. anxious, a bit?

i didn't get scholastics, as expected (to top it off, keenan got it, of course).my teacher blames it on the sad politics of it (winners of the competition were mostly, and i mean at least 70%, students of private schools). i think that's just a marvelous excuse for her not to admit to me that i suck. because i do.

despite current lack of confidence, and more upon lack of cash, i'm independently selling prints of my work, so contact at blueprintmurder@gmail.com

recently keenan and i celebrated our 6-month. he bought me red roses, but a baker's dozen. i'm not quite sure what that means.

i have a mentor for senior project, she's a seamstress, so i need to buy some fabric soon.

i saw brokeback mountain with elliot. both my heart and vagina exploded.

pep rally this friday so i have practice everyday and dfhgdjlg we have a lot of work to do.

stephen just got into school of visual arts. good god i'm so excited. i'm anxious to (officially) get in. "we are gonna tear NYC up!"

new years

2006-01-05T02:26:01Z

the first half of 2005 sucked, thanks to a certain andy chang, who i'm glad is out of my life (and, hopefully, rotting somewhere?). second half got awesome cuz i ditched that whole hate-myself theory, went to mica, met a shitload of awesome incredible sweet people, including unarguably the love of my life, keenan d. also, this was the first year i had sex (agh but it was bad), i actually got high (and with the weirdest people), and i got into trouble (allie's lakehouse05)

i welcome 2006 with open arms, maybe a drink and a cigarette in my hand cuz i dont wanna make a resolution to quit smoking.

new years eve keenan took me to his house and his mom gave us really good champagne. his mom got me a christmas gift isn't that sweet. i feel bad now.then we (me and his family) ate at babbette's cafe. mr derby is sooo cool.

then we went to cullen's...we had 48 cans of PBR! ahhh. matt, adam, theresa, jack, matt, kiki, marion, and shafiq came later. i wrote 'bag of bread' on marion's chest?

around midnight we started walking to joel's then me jack and keenan started walking back to the apartment. keenan rode a tricycle down a hill and i peed on a golf course. classy. we were almost back to cullens and keenans like oh shit it's midnight. it wasnt the most romantic new year's kiss but goddamnit it was with keenan so it was great. started to shoot off keenan's roman candles cuz he was sick and we're assholes. then i watched lost in translation and passed out. i'm proud to say the first thing i did in 2006 was screw. keenan came back to my house and we danced and sang pacman and had a really long goodbye.

matt

keenan on jack?

intoxicated and very hot.

more pictures

i havent done anything for the past 72 hours except fuck, go to walgreens, and vegetate at starbucks, so ~~hopefully allie will pick me up now~~.

nevermind, she just completely let me down. thanks. i do so much for you and i ask for one little thing. fuck you.

happy festivus!

2005-12-23T20:50:39Z

happy festivus!

watched the seinfeld festivus episode at cullen's last night with keenan and matt (over some peach soda, of course). spent the night at the place matt was housesitting. the cat was really annoying and lonely and kept scratching at the door of the room me and keenan were (sortof) sleeping in. i also hit my head on the wall and it suddenly hurts now, but well worth it, i got to wake up next to keenan and that's a damn good festivus present.

keenan: what do you write in your web blog, like "keenan's so awesome!"
me: *silence*

yes, festivus! no, bagels!

suspense! and suspensful disbelief

2005-12-15T04:01:39Z

nearly all of my friends have gotten admitted to college already, and i want to too! WAH. I WANNA GO TO COLLEGE.

in order to do so, i have to get over this writing hump (this time, not lovely lady lumps) and write the damn statement of purpose for pratt. i dont even know where to begin. i have a sheet of notebook paper (complete with various cartoons) with the following words/phrases on it:

NEW YORK=CULTURAL HAVEN (picture of statue of liberty here)
picture! picture taking is fun. no?
um, Bachelors of Fine Arts.
I believe that the Institute itself would provide me education and discipline in the
Not only would the institute itself provide an education, but the city of New York would provide a cultural
New york provides an education no single book can phrase
(doodle of king kong) with caption, KING KONG'S DONG!
further develop issues not properly translated in childhood
further develop feelings not accurately communicated in chilhood
further develop MOTHERFUCK *scribble*
~~i just would like to go here just in case i dont get into other schools. not quite a safety, but close to it.~~
i like taking the G train.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

totally not going to a liberal arts school to take literature and writing courses for the next four years,
natasha

i gotta watch myself

2005-11-28T03:51:19Z

we dont know, so we wait for tomorrow.

photo exhibit last weekend

elliot drew a picture of me and keenan, strangely, looks just like us.

i went shopping black friday; i didnt do much shopping for anyone else but i got myself some cowboy boots and a bomber hat. me and allie went to some consignment shops and watched bobby's world at my house.

i got that letter from mica, basically they accepted my portfolio at portfolio day and im in "the top 25%" of the people they reviewed this year, which doesnt mean a whole lot to me because they havent reviewed a lot. but its cool i guess. woot.

keenan came over last night and we watched dude where's my car over lasagna. three hours flew by. i sat in his lap and we ate a frosty in a random field then my tummy made pacman noises.

it's so hard for me to be happy for the person i love when they get YET ANOTHER award for their work, while ive never gotten ANYTHING my whole life. he's gotten maybe 4 or 5 this year. so im back where i was before where it feels like my work is so incredibly shitty. so if anyone actually read this, go to my deviantart page and give me your honest opinion, what i can improve on and all that. either on here or there. thanks.

god i hate feeling so so low.

on a brighter note, i started birth control today. let the games begin!